Time to Plan: the “UP-side to Anticipatory Grief” - Part I
Michelle Nichols, MS
AHELP Project Director and Co-founder
Most of us don’t wish to think about the approaching death of our pet. How many of us have tried to conveniently forget that it won’t happen (denial) or that NOT thinking about their declining health will make the reality go away (avoidance)?
Elaine Lam and Mone Mone enjoy quiet time together. (photo: Elaine Lam)
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Animal Caregiver Support Program
Why Caregiver Support Matters
You’ve heard it before: “Please secure your oxygen mask first, then assist your loved one.” We all know that we can't take good care of our loved one if we don't take care of ourselves - but how can you when your focus is 100% on your pet? "Why do I need caregiver support?" We hear it often! Your animal friend cannot do it without you attending to their needs, however, you can only provide the best care for your pet if you also attend to YOUR needs.
That's why we focus on caregiver support; animal caregivers need support just like those caring for ill and aging human patients. Together, we will empower you to achieve a good quality of life for your pet until the end, you know you've forged your path of least regrets and healing comes with more ease.
Scroll down to learn how caregiver support helps address these pet parents' common concerns...
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Do any of these concerns sound familiar to you?
“I just want my furry friend to be comfortable and don’t know where to turn.”
We know the value in seeking guidance and companionship while considering options for comfort care versus more aggressive treatments to cure their illness. You may seek more support than your veterinarian alone can provide. Our framework ensures you feel seen, heard, and understood. We help you explore the best care options for your pet based on your values and goals, and build an end-of-life plan you can confidently share with your veterinary team.
“I want to know when it’s time for euthanasia.”
Deciding when to euthanize a beloved pet is hard. Even with your vet’s advice, uncertainty can remain. There isn’t a perfect moment—only the best decision made with love. We’ll help you assess your pet’s quality of life, talk with your vet, and ensure your pet doesn’t suffer. Our goal is to support you in making a compassionate decision you can find peace with.
"My veterinarian offered me unsettling options: surgery, another round of tests, or ‘call-me-when-you-want-a-euthanasia.’"
It breaks your heart to imagine life without your furry friend, but the same clinical tests yet again don’t seem to change anything, and surgery seems unfair to her. Our guidance and decision-making fundamentals will give you what you need to make informed choices and feel in control again.
“I can’t get over how guilty I feel about my last pet’s passing. I don’t know how I could do that again.”
You second-guessed yourself last time, hoping for a recovery that never came, and by the time you called on your veterinarian, you felt sure she was suffering. Bottling up your pain over this weakens you and makes you question your faith in yourself. Our steps will help you explore and heal from past emotions, giving you a more confident outlook for the future.
“I’m running out of energy to continue this level of pet care, yet she still really needs me.”
Burnout is a real risk for dedicated solo animal caregivers and is more common than you think. You might feel exhausted, stuck, or even ashamed to admit you are overwhelmed. Trust in AHELP to help you find heart-centered and compassionate solutions to continue caring for your beloved pet without sacrificing your well-being and with self-care in mind.
“I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and I’ll never forgive myself for letting her go too soon.”
You feel terribly that you might have stopped short of understanding your pet’s end-of-life options, yet forgiving yourself seems impossible. You want to look back this time, knowing you did all you could. Our guidance and support in animal hospice and palliative care can help you build a plan you can trust in, look back on your journey without regrets, and lead you smoothly to healing.
"We have a veterinarian I trust, but I wonder if they are ALL we need right now."
You have heard about other approaches to comfort and caring, and feel it's time to explore if they are the right fit for your needs at this crucial time. We know that your pet needs a veterinary team you can trust so good for you - and for your pet - if you already do. Feel free to ask about our network of providers who treat body and mind more "whole-istically." Your furry friend's end of life experience often benefits when adding a hospice-aligned practitioner or a veterinarian to your team.
“The thought of another expense like pet hospice care will overwhelm my finances.”
Another trip to the vet clinic, another $1,000 spent. Your heart says to do everything, but that nagging voice persists. Did you know that pet hospice care is typically more affordable than traditional veterinary services? We understand the financial burden and can help you find cost-effective alternatives for your pet, while also supporting yourself and your loved ones. Also, discontinuing aggressive treatments and opting for pet hospice comfort care can often give you more precious time together.
At AHELP, We Understand the Challenges of Animal Caregiving.
We get you! We know that providing hospice care for your furry friend can be deeply rewarding and create lasting memories, but it can also be challenging.
Our mission is to provide companionship, expert guidance, affordable solutions, and compassionate support to ensure you and your pet navigate these harrowing times with peace and confidence.
Comfort. Choices. Empowerment.
Animal Hospice, End-of-Life, and Palliative Care Project